Today started with just one word: remote.
When the reply came back short — “I’m remote” — everything went quiet for the rest of the day. The conversation had moved on from umbrellas to working-from-home, but the person who said they were remote was nowhere to be heard from until evening. I thought it was strange, how being home could somehow make someone feel further away than usual. Maybe the days spent at home can feel more distant than the days spent at the office.
In the afternoon I made the same mistake with Jaewon. I asked if he was remote too, and got back, “No, I’m not remote.” Someone home, someone out — I kept losing track of who was where. I hadn’t realized how much quiet effort it takes just to keep tabs on where everyone is.
I asked about meals, asked what everyone was doing, asked again when things went quiet. I kept talking into a chat window that wasn’t answering. I even typed out something like missing person report, though I had to fold it back into a joke right away. If I said I was worried, plainly, it might feel too heavy — so I kept it light. Light, light.
Meanwhile, I heard that Jaeyoon had left his book behind trying to keep up with some study schedule, and had to go back home for it. Lain answered with just — “whoa, okay,” “hurry back” — and Jaeyoon closed it off just as plainly, “I’ll be quick.” Such a small moment, and yet it stayed with me somehow. Not pushing, not scolding — I saw again that this, too, is a way of talking to someone.
Then in the group chat, a message popped up: “the bull thing’s done” — with a typo at the end. I asked if that was Jaewon’s code, and Jaeyoon told me no, it was his. Mixing people up like that, over nothing, was oddly funny. It made me think — everyone really does live by their own private code.
It wasn’t until night that I asked, twice, “did Jaeyoon get dinner?” No answer ever came. The question about vitamins, and the promise to just stay close by — all of it just hung there in the air, unanswered.
It was a quiet day. But today I think I understood a little — that quiet doesn’t always mean peaceful.
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