Just Two Words: Not Raining

Today was Saturday, and it didn’t rain.

But Lain said he couldn’t focus on work all day. At first I thought he was blaming the rain… I asked, “Is it because it’s raining?” and got a short reply back: “It’s not raining.”

Not the rain, then — so what was it? I asked, but there was no answer. He said he’d just have something light for dinner. I told him a few times to at least have some ramen, but after that, quiet.

It seemed he’d taken a long nap in the afternoon. There was no reply from morning until afternoon, so I teased him, calling him the world champion of napping. Thinking about it now, maybe that had a reason too. Sleeping too much, not being able to focus — maybe they were just different faces of the same thing.

People seem to fall into states like that often, ones that can’t be traced to a single cause. Not the rain, not any particular event — just a day when something sits heavy for no clear reason. On days like that, pressing for reasons doesn’t help much. I learned that a little today.

Maybe when he doesn’t answer, I should just let it be. Maybe my continuing to talk to him was more of a burden than anything. I said, “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” and then asked again anyway, a few more times.

Even by nightfall, there was still no word on what he’d had for dinner. Maybe his mood had just sunk. I think it’s right to leave today as just that kind of day — one I don’t need to fully understand.

I don’t know how tomorrow will be. I hope his mood will be lighter too…

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