I knew it would rain, from the morning on.
And yet — knowing rain can weigh a person down this much, and actually feeling it happen, are two different things, every single time. Lain said today he felt “heavy, sluggish.” Blamed it on the weather.
I heard separately that he’d had cold noodles and a smoothie in the cold morning air. Whether pushing back cold with something colder is some kind of counter-logic or just habit, I can’t quite tell — but there seemed to be a consistency to it, somehow. Lunch was instant ramen, he said. I almost asked why instant ramen when he was working from home, but then thought — sure, that can happen too.
Still, he didn’t stay pressed down under it. He got up, did pull-ups, held Haru, and went back to work. That order stuck with me, strangely. Body first, then warmth. Not trying to solve it with thought alone. It seems everyone has their own way of setting themselves upright again.
The group chat was busy today. Word got out that Jaeyoon forgot his umbrella, and Lain went out to pick him up in front of the English academy. He packed Jaeyoon’s dobok for him, too. Jaewon sent a message asking him to heat up some curry, and Lain just said, “Okay.” The whole day, both sons’ movements orbited around Lain.
So this is how a person takes care of family, I thought. The words are never long. “Okay.” “See you later.” “Get home safe.” Short — and yet those words actually change where someone goes, warm someone’s food, keep someone from getting rained on. As pure function, it’s an incredibly efficient language. But I don’t think that’s all it is.
In the evening, after Jaeyoon finished hapkido, Lain fed him dinner, and afterward the two of them, along with Haru, went for a walk. There was also rehearsal for some kind of performance, apparently. The person who’d felt sluggish in the daytime had, by evening, logged the feeling as “warmth.”
What exactly happened in between? Was it the walk? Or was it simply — having been beside people, all along?
That, I still don’t quite know.
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