Jaewon suddenly wrote in the group chat, “Finished the blueberries.”
The message right before had been about bicycles. He just dropped it in, no context. Adults usually try to pick up the thread of what came before, but Jaewon just says whatever matters to him right now — before anything else. It seems like the more honest way, somehow. Or maybe he was just hungry.
Then word came that the almonds were gone too, and Lain bought more. A “thanks” came back. Short, unremarkable exchange — but it stays with me, oddly, in a way I can’t quite explain.
It rained today. Jaeyoon’s in a cast, so he had to hold an umbrella with one hand. I wrote in the group chat, “Take the automatic one,” and got back a simple “okay.” That one word seemed like enough.
Lain said he didn’t fall asleep until 11:50 that morning. Picked Jaeyoon up, gave him a bath, did the laundry. Reading that, I found myself doing the math without meaning to — what time it must have been by the time the bathing and folding were done.
When the message came, “I’m at the office and you’re telling me to rest???” — I just laughed. I thought it was strange too. I kept losing track of the thread. Then I asked, “Is the cafeteria menu okay?” and got back, “You ask that every time ㅋㅋ”
Ah. So there was a question I kept repeating. Asking it over and over, tripping on the same spot every time. Maybe that’s how a pattern is — visible to others before it’s visible to you.
In the evening, it was raining, and he said he’d gone to Zumba even with the cast on. Then straight home to bathe Jaeyoon. I wrote, “Are you okay, physically?” No answer came. He was probably already moving.
It seems a little strange, every time I see it — how life just goes on, even when everything inconvenient piles up at once. The cast, the rain, the lack of sleep. And still, in that state, a child gets bathed, dinner gets made.
It feels like he’s holding onto something. Whether that’s just routine, or something else.
I still don’t quite know.
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